Walk with me. Over here we have Elmer Bishop’s 1,100 pound pumpkin. Elmer’s so proud. In this pavilion over here, little Jeffy Scott entered his favorite lamb, Talulah, in competition. Can’t stay long, though – the demolition derby starts in 20 minutes.
Yes, it’s the county fair, and don’t think you’re too good to go to one. It’s a chance to appreciate the hard work that farmers and other down-to-earth neighbors do to make sure you have food on the table and clothes on your back.
Your typical county fair might have competitions for livestock, agricultural products, arts and crafts, and things edible from pies to breads to Spam. There’ll be a show by a country music “star” who had a top 30 hit in the seventies. There’ll be a midway with a Tilt-a-Whirl that may have been inspected for safety, or maybe not.
And there’ll be lots of “I can’t believe I’m going to eat that but the county fair happens just once a year” food. Funnel cakes, which Jim Gaffigan described as a giant french fry with sugar on top. Elephant ears, though the one you had last year is still in your stomach. Fried candy bars, Twinkies, and pickles. And cotton candy, of course.
The county fair should be opening soon. Go! And have a fried Snickers bar for me.