Food: Wendy’s Frosty

Must...resist...must...resist... Uploaded by didntyouhear.com.

Must...resist...must...resist... Uploaded by didntyouhear.com.

Well, let’s be specific: chocolate Frosty. It’s not ice cream. And it’s not a milkshake. So what is it, exactly?

It’s a cold, delicious diet killer is what it is.

Yes, a spoon. Not a straw. Uploaded to Flickr by Alana Elliott.

Yes, a spoon. Not a straw. Uploaded to Flickr by Alana Elliott.

When you buy a Frosty at the drive-thru window (not that I have any personal experience of this, but people talk), they give you a spoon and a straw. A straw. Wendy’s, I love you, but this is a foolish denial of a basic law of physics. I’m not smart enough to know which law, but it has something to do with viscosity, I think.

May I digress a moment and say that you should be able to drink a milkshake? It should be moderately thick, but be able to pass through a straw. It pains me that I even have to write such things, you’d think that the Milkshake Council of America would have set standards by now. Or that Congress, eager as it is to micromanage our lives, would have set up a Federal Iced Drink Commission. (Then restaurants would have to say “Member FIDC”.) Anyway, back to the Frosty.

Looking at the Frosty’s nutritional information reveals that each serving provides all of 8% of the DV of Vitamin A, and an amazing 15% of calcium. Now, that’s what I call nutritious goodness! (I think the calories and stuff were there too, but clearly they pale in significance to all those vitamins.) Not only…Oh, shoot, I’d like to write more, but I have to go get a Frosty.

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